Today's count (so far)

Eyes watered: once

Cried: never

BIG improvement

Again, didn't even say hi. I stared at you a lot though, you're sosososo beautful. Saw you talking to a couple of second years on recess, what the fuck was that all about? You were laughing. You touched Juli on the back. I'm so sick.

That acid post-it I mentioned a few posts back? Well, it was humungus today. I still have it on me, my hope that I can ever have one last dose of you is quickly fading away, I can't ignore reality. You kill me, I wish you knew just that. I wish I could tell you how much you've made me cry, and the hole you've left inside me, that grows back right when I think it's finally healing. And I wish you had an idea of what you did to me, what a dick you're being, I wish you could see though my eyes for a day. Not so you fall for me again, but so you can at least say you're sorry, or not even. So you care a bit. You see me every day, and you think it's just a big akward. Fuck akwardness, you don't know what it's like for me, seeing you. I know I fucked up big time a few months ago, when we first started dating, but really. This? I think I haven't talked to you only because I'm not the one to talk, judging on last november. That's why I want somebody to tell you you're a dick, but not me. Right, that's not happening eather. People love you.

But they don't love you like I love you.